Oprah's Debt Diet, Part 2

In an earlier post, I discussed the first 2 episodes of Oprah's Debt Diet, Part 1. In Part 3, Oprah had her psychologist friend, Dr. Robin Smith, on the show to work with the Bradley's and Widlund's regarding their underlying problems, both with themselves and in their marriage.

The Bradley's (who make $102,000 and owe $170,000) were on the brink of divorce. The wife was spending, spending, spending, while the husband had checked out emotionally. There was very little communication going on. Lisa explained that the reason she shops so much now is because she didn't have a lot as a kid growing up and was ashamed. She wants to be able to provide both herself and her kids the things she never had. Dr. Robin says that going into debt is an addiction and an epidemic in America. "We" are hiding the fact that we're in debt because we are ashamed. "Our" spending has become unconscious and is a form of self-soothing, to make us feel better. We need to be happy with the life we have rather than trying to have the life that others have (who are probably in debt to have it anyway).

The Widlund's (who make $75-80,000 and owe $81,000) spoil their children and constantly argue. The mother feels that if she loves her children, she should give them everything. Dr. Robin says that if you love them, you give them what they need and allow them to earn the rest. By giving them everything, you're actually hurting them. Instead, spoil them with your time and love, which is what they really want. You can't fill the emptiness of yourself or others with things, which is what most do. Irresponsible giving does not equal love. Dr. Robin also pointed out that we need to recognize and think about the effects/consequences of our choices, even when not immediately recognizable.

Check out parts 4 & 5 in Oprah's Debt Diet, Part 3.